Lord, may your Holy Spirit guard my mouth, so that my words will not bring shame to the Kingdom of God. —Psalm 141:3 (King Jimmy Translation)
“Making a Good Impression on Your Parole Officer”
“You have a gentleman here to see you,” Kathy said.
Hummm. What’s with that? Her voice sounded deadpan, not her usual cheerful self that greeted me when I returned to the office an hour earlier.
“Okay, be right there.”
The first person anyone encountered when they entered the building was Kathy, the “Director of First Impressions.” Her bright smile, gentle voice and warm personality instantly made the most obnoxious widgets salesman or hopeful employment applicant be at ease. But her tone indicated something was wrong.
When I turned the corner to the lobby, I saw him waiting for me, decked out in his cheap sports coat and wrinkled tie.
“Aw, man!” My shoulders slumped and I shook my head. “How’d you find me?” Your humble Aggie scribe faced the wall across from Kathy’s desk, spread eagle, and waited to be frisked, as if this was regular event.
He frisked me with more energy than a TSA agent trying to make his quota.
I felt the oxygen in the entire building being sucked out by Kathy’s gasp. “Oh, my. Oh, my!” reverberated off the cubicles walls.
“Okay, you’re clean,” he said.
I turned around to see Kathy standing, whiter than fresh snow, hand over her opened mouth in apparent disbelief.
Like two fighters before a match, my frisker and I faced each other for several seconds. I was the first to smile.
He gave me a bear hug that nearly squeezed the lunchtime chili out of me and slapped me on the shoulder. “Big guy!” he said.
“Whatcha doin’ here, Tom?”
We laughed like two giddy sophomores at their first school dance. I turned to our confused Kathy, “This is my best buddy, Tom. I’ve told you about him, remember?”
We duped her.
Her countenance changed from “What is going on here,” to “Oh, I see your twisted deceit” But that quickly turned to “Aggie, you have no idea how miserable I’m gonna make you for tricking me!”
I realized the magnitude of my screw-up. My humorous introduction of Tom to Kathy failed restore her sweet, gentle disposition. Like an annoyed elementary school teacher, her furrowed eyebrows, piercing brown eyes and nervously tapping foot demanded an explanation—and it had better be good.
Unbeknownst to me, after Tom checked in with Kathy, and when asked the purpose of his visit, Tom, in his best Sergeant Joe Friday’s impersonation, replied, “I’m his parole officer. He’s a convicted felon avoiding me.”
For reasons I will never know until I reach Heaven, when I turned the corner and saw Tom, I immediately went into the spread-eagle formation. Some may call it karma, some call it coincidence. “Oh, man,” I said, trying to suppress my laughter from our fuming Kathy. “I can’t believe I did that.” It was a crazy phenomenon. (Hopefully it will create a good story.)
“I’m sorry, Kathy,” Tom said, “but your expression was priceless.” He leaned over and put his hand on my shoulder. “Then I frisked you.” A normal person would have mistaken his doubled-over laughter to that of a harbor seal begging for mullets.
She glared at Tom. “So, you’re not Jimmy’s parole officer?” Her serious voice began to lighten up. “All this is a joke, right?” Kathy’s eyes zeroed in on me. “You’re not a felon, a parolee?”
“No, dear. I’m not.” I couldn’t help but giggle again how we hoodwinked her, but I needed to soothe her ruffle feathers. “Tom and I always joke around like this, Kathy. That spread-eagle was spontaneous.”
She halfway rolled her eyes. “I ought to slap you all the way to El Paso!” Her slight smirk and playful wink assured me I was forgiven. “You guys!” From that day forward, Kathy called Tom my parole officer.
Whether it is fair or not, life gives us one chance to make a first impression. How do we make sure that first impression is a good one? A pleasant tone and a good attitude helps. Unfortunately, a bad first impression is difficult to overcome. Even if I’m having a bad day, some people will never change their minds, since once a word is spoken, or in my case as a stutterer—spoken repeatedly—or an action taken, it’s impossible to rewrite the script.
In a courtroom, when a witness makes an irrelevant statement showing bias or favoritism, the judge orders the jury to ignore that comment. But that doesn’t work. It’s already spoken.
The Bible speaks clearly about the power of our words? What I say either builds up, like a good first impression, or tears down, like a not-so-good first impression. If my words reveal the character of my heart, what do I advertise to the world?
What signal am I sending if I’m constantly bickering, quarreling, or constantly complaining? Do I show contempt to my coworkers? Or do I readily give my juicy tidbits to the gossip group around the water cooler? How would I influence someone for Christ if I exhibited conduct that reflected the devil and I were buddies? Wrong impressions. Who would listen to me share the grace of God when my actions are 180 degrees opposite?
Talk about power. Just by our words, we can destroy someone without laying a finger on them.
But what impression am I sending when my words are seasoned with grace, my tone friendly, and my expressions kind— “Welcome, you’re safe and accepted.” The wisdom of the ancient sage found in Proverbs 18:21 is relevant today: my words bring life to the broken, give hope to the downtrodden, and soothe those wounded spirits desperately seeking comfort.
Talk about power. Just by our words, we can influence someone to seek God and turn their life around for eternity.
Lord, may our words be what you would say to those who you bring into our world. May our words and actions reflect your love and grace.
Stay close to Jesus
Jimmy
P.S. When Tom and I first met, we had a wrong impression of each other. I thought he was a minister. He thought I was a p-p-public a-a-announcer.
Jimmy Eskew © 2017
THANKFUL 
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