THANKFUL

God blesses those whose hearts are pure, the Holy Spirit will open their eyes to see God working all around them—Matthew 5:8 (King Jimmy Translation).

“Here Comes da Judge”

Since I retired in 2015, your humble Aggie scribe has fallen into a lunchtime routine of watching the wheels of justice roll out liberty and justice for all. However, watching The People’s Court, Judge Judy, or Judge Joe Brown, while consuming a can of mini ravioli or eating a baloney sandwich, does not help digestion. If anything, watching these courtroom dramas accelerates digestion.

In these shows, the plaintiff and the defendant present their differences, exposing each other’s dirty laundry and darkest secrets before a national audience. The manners in which these individuals air their grievances makes me wonder how they get out of bed each morning. Their display of ignorance about life and dealing with others is baffling.

In a recent episode, one party sued to get their money refunded from a car deal gone bad. He bought the car “as is” and then sued the seller because the vehicle did not have an engine. Common sense would dictate to lift the hood and inspect the engine. Or ask, “Hey, mind if I take it for a test push around the block?” Really.

Another case involved a woman who sued a taxi driver for throwing her and her boyfriend out after they “got frisky” in the back seat.

This next case took the top prize for absurdity. A man sued his former girlfriend for rent after they broke up, yet they still shared the same apartment. She moved her new boyfriend into the apartment and expected her new lover to pay her share of the rent, but he refused. I mean, this insanity is just total (fill in the blank).

The apparent lack of concern for displaying one’s stupidity and absence of judgement before the world is troublesome. What have we become as a society? Is common sense on permanent vacation? More important, why do I watch such nonsense daily?

Make me Judge Jimmy, I thought. I’ll show them ignorant varmints a thing or two.

What cruel punishment could I inflict upon them so they learn their lesson? What chastisement matches their heinous crimes? Lock them in a 6 X 10 cell with nothing but a Cambridge Dictionary of American English, and a Roget’s Thesaurus. That should convert them from a life of crime to a literate, well-spoken, contributing member of society when paroled fifty years later.

The Holy Spirit, who resides within me, shook his head. Hey, Aggie. (The Holy Spirit affectionately calls me Aggie—at least, I think it’s affectionate.) What about forgiveness? Have you not heard of grace? Why not give someone a new start in life, despite one major screw-up followed by another? And how about offering mercy instead of condemnation for their poor choices that derailed their life.

I corrected the Holy Spirit at this point. You saw what those bamboozlers did and then had the nerve to display their stupidity before everyone. There are consequences to their actions, you know. I knew God would understand my point of view. They got the punishment they deserved.

The Holy Spirit sighed. I wasn’t talking about them, Aggie. I was talking about you.

What! I felt the Lord put his arm around my shoulder.

Let’s review one of my Beatitudes, shall we? Pay attention.

Okay, Lord. I hung my head. I’m listening.

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” (Matthew 5:8). Before you hammer others about their failure, do you remember yours—you know, before I came charging onto the scene to rescue you? You were exactly like those folks on TV, clueless about the truths of life, oblivious of your spiritual poverty. Your heart—that place where your thoughts, will and desires reside—wasn’t pure. Your facade kept you from seeing me working around you to get your attention.

I remember those days like they were last week. I enjoyed life, but it seemed I always chased pleasures that never brought lasting satisfaction. I functioned quite well in society, and gave the impression I had it all together, with my racing career, my popularity, my job, my friends. My fun-loving nature and acerbic tongue hid my internal fears. I probably would have won an Emmy for Outstanding Aggie Actor Hiding-Behind-a-Facade in Judge Joe Brown’s courtroom, wouldn’t I, Lord?

You were a mess, but then you went “Hank Williams” on me.

Huh? Whatcha mean, Lord?

Have you forgotten, Aggie? You “Saw the Light.”

I rolled my eyes. I can’t believe how corny you get sometimes, Jesus. I’m supposed to be the humorist, remember?

I revealed my grace and offered you forgiveness and a new life, Jesus said. But don’t think you did it on your own. In the devil’s courtroom, he would have thrown you under the slammer. In Heaven’s courtroom, you also would have been found guilty if not for your lawyer, Jesus. You were declared innocent when He paid for your crimes against me. He received the punishment you deserved.

Sorry, Lord, is all I could say. I won’t be so critical of those poor souls on TV.

Accepted, the Lord said.

But it’s still okay to watch these shows, isn’t it?

Jesus just rolled his eyes. I guess.

May our hearts always be pure before you, Lord, so we may feel your presence and see you working not only in our lives but in others as well.

Stay close to Jesus.

Jimmy

P.S. I liked how “Judge Jimmy” sounded. That has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it Lord?

Jesus just rolled his eyes.

Jimmy Eskew © 2017