That liar Satan, who accuses all believers nonstop before the Father, was crushed by Jesus on Easter Sunday—Revelation 12:10 (King Jimmy Translation).
Attack of the Pink Flamingos
“Guilty but Found Innocent”
(Part one of three)
The phone rang just as the sun peeked over the horizon, before I’d settled in my office with my first cup of shop coffee. Wonder which shop hand is calling in sick today?
“Jimmy Eskew! I’m gonna wring your neck!”
I immediately recognized that earsplitting shriek belonged to Carolyn, the red-headed wife of my good friend Tom.
Your humble Aggie scribed sighed. “What’d I do now, Buttercup?” This wasn’t the first time I received Carolyn’s early morning wrath.
“You know fully well what you did!” She gasped for air, followed by explosive laughter. “I went outside this morning and they were all over the yard. I woke Tom to see the flamingos.” I held the phone away from my ear, avoiding another round of her high-pitched laughter.
Then, I understood.
Our church’s youth ministry held a fundraiser for a mission trip. Parishioners were encouraged to buy “Flamingo Insurance” for twenty-five dollars to protect their yards from undocumented pink flamingo yard ornaments. Or, they could pay the youth group to invade another’s yard with the pink birds. Carolyn accused me of the latter. (FYI: Those who purchased flamingo insurance from the government exchange, the rates started at $30,500, with a $12,000 deductible. But I digress.)
Only specially trained youth personnel could remove these dangerous, aggressive flamingos, and only under the cover of midnight darkness. Because of the danger involved in removing these aggressive ornaments, a twenty-five-dollar removal fee was charged.
“Sorry, pumpkin,” I told Carolyn. “It wasn’t me. Must have been another of your flamingo-soul-saving friends. Even Pontius Pilate would find me not guilty.” Carolyn refused to believe my innocence.
Within hours, this flamingo scandal spread throughout the church gossip-mill.
It had to be Jimmy. I heard they found pink feathers in his truck.
I heard that Aggie ‘flamingoed’ Carolyn last night!
I think he acted on his own and Mrs. Aggie had no knowledge of this.
After being flamingoed, Carolyn should leave the church. Pray for Tom.
Calls and texts of congratulations or disbelief flooded my mailbox.
That’s not Aggie values. Friends don’t let friends flamingo others.
Congrats, Jimmy. I’ve wanted to do that myself but just didn’t have the faith to follow through. You da man!
I’m fasting and praying for you Jimmy. Your unrighteous behavior sent shock waves throughout the self-righteous community.
Kudos, Jimmy. Carolyn has needed flamingo-ing for a long time.
As much as I wanted to, despite the accolades and embellished stories, I could not take credit for this transgression against Tom and Carolyn. I did not order, or support, or in any way participate in any activity to flamingo my friends, yet I stood accused and declared guilty by the court of public opinion. I guess my friends know my forever mischievous personality too well. But This wasn’t the first time I’ve been falsely accused.
In fact, I’m constantly accused of wrongdoing. If you are a Christ follower, you, too, are falsely accused day and night. The Bible says the devil is constantly pointing out our flaws to the Father. Every time we fail to live up to God’s standards, the enemy points his boney finger and says, “See there! they did it again! See! See!”
Occasionally, I get frustrated when driving (you do to—don’t deny it) and say things that un-praise the Lord. All the time, the enemy cups his hand over his ear, listening for any slip of my tongue. The devil loves tagging along when I play golf. He rolls his hands, cracks his knuckles, does several finger-pointing practices, and clears his throat whenever I pull out a fairway wood. “Did you hear that, God? You hear what Jimmy said? Some Christian he is!” He gets himself insanely worked up, stomping his foot, pointing his wiry finger at me. “He’s broken all your commandments over and over! He’s guilty, God, he’s guilty!”
He accuses you of similar things, too, whatever your weakness may be.
I visualize God leaning over in his great white throne, looking the devil in the eye. “Oh, shut up! I’ve had enough of you and your accusations.”
Satan slowly backs up as God unloads both barrels on Satan.
“When Jimmy accepted my grace, he became a new man. I personally snatched off his filthy robe of sin—that you put on him—and clothed him the new righteous robe of My Son Jesus. Then I dispatched my Holy Spirit to live inside him, which guarantees his place with me. He and I are still working on his many rough edges, which he acknowledges are a problem, but I’ve got Jimmy covered.”
Satan stuck his fingers in his ears. He knew what God would say next.
“Jimmy stands not guilty in my sight. You annoy me—get outta here!”
Our heavenly Father ignores Satan every time he accuses a believer. Satan is the father of lies, so everything he says is not true (John 8:44). He reminds Satan how Jesus defeated him on Easter Sunday.
Lord, thank you for redeeming us with your mercy and grace. When Satan accuses us of transgression, you see Jesus righteousness on us, declaring us “Not Guilty!”
Stay close to Jesus.
Jimmy
P.S. I suggested a theme for the mission’s trip fundraiser, but the youth pastor said “Flaming Pink Flamingos for Jesus” just didn’t have the right ring to it.
Jimmy Eskew © 2017
THANKFUL 
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