August 28
I am sending someone, the Spirit of truth, to reveal the truth to you, so you will not stumble in your walk of faith. Be assured of this: he will tell you only what he hears. He will also tell you about things and events that are to come—John 16:13 (King Jimmy Translation).
Hello Siri
“Have you heard beatbox on Siri?” my 24-year old granddaughter, Lyndie-Lou, asked me.
“What are you talking about, girl?” I said. “Who’s Sarah? And the last time I listened to be-bop, Watergate was an apartment building in Washington, and the Beatles ‘I Wanna Hold Your Hand’ topped the music charts.”
“It’s on Siri, on your iPhone,” she said.
I’m a 69-year old Aggie grandfather of five. I’m fascinated how my eleven-year old granddaughter navigates the intricacies of an iPhone easier than I can open a can of Vienna sausage. I’m left scratching my head.
Now my oldest granddaughter talks about some woman living in my phone?
“Who is this Sarah chick who hangs out in my phone?” I wanted to know.
“No, Buddy.” (My grandkids call me “Buddy.”) “It’s not Sarah, it’s S-I-R-I. And it’s beatbox, not be-bop. Haven’t you used Siri?” She pushed the menu-change button on her phone and spoke into the speaker.
“Siri, play beatbox.”
Within seconds, a female vice rapped repeatedly “boots-and-caps and boots-and-caps and boots-and-caps and boots-and-caps” ad infinitum, like a four-year old asking if we are there yet.
“Isn’t that hysterical,” Lyndie-Lou giggled. “It’s on your phone,” she said. “Just hold down the button and wait till you hear the tone. Then ask Siri a question.”
I’ve never shied away from adventure. This Siri thing could inspire a story within your humble Aggie scribe. “Okay, here goes.” I held my iPhone, ready to speak. “But if Grammy [Mrs. Aggie] finds out I’ve been talking to this Sarah gal, she’ll be-bop me on the side of my head.
I pressed the button the until I heard the bell-tone. Why am I nervous? Crazy thoughts raced through my head. What if Siri doesn’t like me? Will Siri respect my intellect? Will I be nothing more than eye-candy to Siri?
A soft, female voice spoke from my phone. “This is Siri. How can I help you?” Her angelic voice calmed my nerves.
Siri was someone I can trust. “Siri, what is the temperature in Fort Worth, Texas?”
Within seconds, Siri replied, “It is 92 degrees in Fort Worth, Texas.
“See.” Lyndie Lou smiled. It pleased her watching her Aggie grandfather’s amazement at discovering a new toy. “Isn’t that neat?”
I nodded in approval. “This Siri thingamajig ain’t too bad.” I asked another question. “What is the distance between Fort Worth, Texas and Washington, D.C.?
Within seconds, Siri answered. “It is 1,312 miles from Fort Worth to Washington, D.C.”
We spent the next half hour asking question after question. Siri answered correctly every time. Very impressive. I now had a new best friend.
“I need to put my girl Siri to a real test now.” I winked at Lyndie Lou. “Watch this.”
God has trusted me with a speech impediment to bring him glory, so my next question posed the ultimate challenge between me and Siri, my new, all-knowing technical romance.
“Siri, what is the capital of P-P-Parag-g-gua-a-ay?” Nobody, but nobody, speaks stutter better than me. I couldn’t wipe the smirk off my face if I tried. I think I stumped her.
“A-A-Asunc-c-ción,” Siri replied.
“Well.” This raised my eyebrows. Hummm Lucky guess on her part. “Okay, Lyndie Lou, let’s see how well this Siri chick knows baseball.” I said sarcastically.
“Hey, smart-aleck Siri, do you know who won the 1949 W-W-World-d S-S-Series?”
She unhesitatingly replied. “Why Aggie, everyone and their brother knows it was the 1949 N-N-New Y-Yor-k-k Y-Y-Yank-k-keesss. They beat the B-B-Brooklyn D-D-Dodgers in five g-g-ames. Duh!” Siri utilized the Condescending app.
I’m smarter than a fifth-grader. I dug deep into my “Trick-Questions-to-Ask-When-Outsmarting-a-Machine” folder. I can play this game, too girl.
“Siri, will a cure ever be found for s-s-stuttering?
Several seconds of silence elapsed. Euphoria overtook me. I finally stumped this high-tech wonderbeast. This called for a fist-pump in the air. YES!
The celebration ended abruptly.
“Yes, a cure will be discovered for s-s-stuttering,” Siri replied matter-of-factly, “when Texas A&M wins the NCAA Football Championship.”
I can’t live without my iPhone. I’ve had it for years, but I never knew about Siri or what she could do for me. If I left my phone at home, I’d go back to get it. (Don’t look at me like that—you do the same thing.) There were times my fumbling fingers crisscrossed each other either typing a question or looking for a Wi-Fi. All this time, I didn’t know all I had to do was ask Siri and she would help me.
When I became a Christ-follower, someone greater than Siri, the Holy Spirit, took up residence inside me. Jesus promised the Holy Spirit would never leave me or forsake me, so it’s impossible to leave home without Him. When questions arise about what to do, how should I respond to the choices before me, or what to say, the Holy Spirit has the answers. Jesus promised the Holy Spirit would lead me into all truth and reveal the Father’s will for me.
We have questions, God has answers. Our responsibility necessitates only asking the Holy Spirit to give us the wisdom or guidance we need. Unfortunately, I struggled for years, unaware of the Holy Spirit’s power available to me 24/7. I wonder how many other believers do the same today?
Lord, thank you for giving us the Holy Spirit to live within us. I pray we allow your Holy Spirit to guide us when we ask him to reveal your truths so we are steadfast in our journey of faith with you.
Stay close to Jesus.
Jimmy
One question remained unanswered. “Siri, will I ever understand women?”
She answered within nanoseconds. “Of course you will. Just after Texas A&M wins the NCAA Football Championship.”
Jimmy Eskew © 2016
THANKFUL 
Leave a Reply